Religion & Beliefs: September 2007 Archives

The Associated Press reports that God has seemingly responded to a lawsuit filed by Omaha State Senator Ernie Chambers. The agnostic politician, who was hoping to highlight the issue of frivolous lawsuits, was seeking a permanent injunction stopping God from making "terrorist threats" of "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." In a response, delivered on Wednesday, the Almighty claimed that he existed outside of the jurisdiction of earthly laws. When questioned about how the legal papers were delivered, Douglas County District Court clerk John Friend explained they miraculously appeared on the counter. “It just all of a sudden was here — poof," said Friend.

Meanwhile irate instruments of God from Pigeon Forge, TN spent a reported $90,440 on a full-page advertisement in Monday’s edition of USA Today criticizing comments made by Kathy Griffin at this year’s Emmys. While accepting an award for her Bravo show My Life On The D-List, Kathy quipped that “a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus." The protestors, who are all members of the Christian Miracle Theatre group, failed to see the humorous side of the Catholic comedienne’s comments. In their ad the group stated, "We may never win a national award. We may never be household names. We may never be seen in Hollywood. Although others may choose to use their national platform to slander our God, we are honored as professional entertainers to stand for Christ."

In further God news this week, Bavarian politician Gabriele Pauli caused controversy after she announced plans to tamper with the rules of the almighty institution of marriage, suggesting that it should “expire after seven years,” with couples being given the option to extend their union once the initial period had ended. The twice-divorced, 50-year old politician, made the comments on Wednesday while campaigning for the leadership of Bavaria’s Christian Social Union party, which is based in Pope Benedict XVI's home region. When questioned further, the motorbike-riding candidate conceded that “the fine points must still be cleared up.”

Publisher Chad Hardy is inviting people to take a fresh look at Mormonism, with his Men On A Mission calendar, which features 12 shirtless LDS beefcakes. According to the calendar’s website, MormonsExposes.com, the devout dozen, who have all served in the church’s missionary program, were “hand-selected for their striking appearances and powerful spiritual commitment.” The dedicated LDS disciples “are stepping away from the Mormon traditions of modest dress, and baring their testimony to demonstrate that they can have strong faith and be proud of who they are, both with a sense of individualism and a sense of humor.”

Los Angeles filmmaker Dita Dimoné is working on a documentary about Santería and the common misconceptions that surround the religion. "I know that many people, including members of my family, have gone to Santeros/as for spiritual guidance, and I've seen them ridiculed or belittled," says Dita. "I took an interest because whenever the subject of Santeria comes up people are quick to judge and voice their fears."

Santería (also know as La Religión or The Way of the Saints) is amalgamation of religions, combining Yoruba traditions and religious practices from Southern Nigeria, Senegal and Guinea Coast with those of the Roman Catholic Church. It's roots lie in slavery. When African slaves were brought to the Caribbean to work on sugar plantations they were forcibly baptized by the Catholic Church. To keep their native religion alive under oppression, slaves equated the priests from their native religion to their new Christian Saints.

"The lack of knowledge about the religion has created many misconceptions and negative portrayals in television and film," says Dita. "Melodramatic accounts depict Santeria as paganistic at best and satanic at worst. When African religions are depicted in films, books, and other media outlet, it is usually in some dark place with mysterious goings on - knives, blood, chicken feet, and corpses. In reality, that is far from the truth. The religion is festive, sensual, filled with passion and energy."