Love & Sex: May 2008 Archives

Have you just found out your partner's cheating on you with your best friend? Did someone just dump you by text message? Are you likely to burst into tears every time you hear "Nothing Compares 2 U" on the radio? Then Hime & Company could be your dream employers, since the enlightened Japanese company is offering heartbreak leave as one of its many employee benefits.

The company's website explains that, "Many companies have maternity leave and claim they are kind to women because of this... People may take sick leave, yet not for heartache. But people would find it harder to be at work in such a situation, making simple mistakes, doing strange things."

As anyone who's ever shown up to work red-eyed and fuzzy brained after a particularly heinous row with a loved one knows, heartbreak leave makes sense not only for the employee but for the employer too. The recently heartbroken are in no mental state to make competent decisions, or deal in a cool and collected way with fellow workers or members of the public.

Employers may also want to consider the man-hours lost as co-workers rally round to cheer up the heartbroken. All those serial heart to hearts by the coffee machine add up, making a day or two of official heartbreak leave look like sound economic sense.

Those with perpetually tragic love lives have their heartbreak capped at Hime & Company however. Those in their early 20's are allowed one heartbreak day a year, those in their mid-twenties are allowed two, while those who are thirty-plus are allowed a full three-days heartbreak vacation. (The Japanese are famous for their love hotels, perhaps they should have heartbreak hotels with classic back & white movies, tissues and chocolate on tap too.)

Interestingly, none of Hime & Company's workers have taken advantage of the company's heartbreak holidays, though another benefit has seen a much higher uptake rate. 100% of employees have taken advantage of the company's "bargain leave," which is offered to workers twice a year so they can take advantage of the sales. This leads us to conclude that companionship from coworkers and retail therapy tops solace when it comes to dealing with a broken heart.

Tantra teacher and practitioner Scott Catamas claims that "by combining our sexuality with our spirituality" we can make our "relationships more profound." He also tantalizes with the prospect of never-ending orgasms, which he says make women "very, very happy."

We're sure there's a lot to be said about the benefits of tantric sex. Its focus on eye contact and intimacy is very appealing, but while endless orgasms may sound like a lot of fun, in practice we know that busy schedules (and limited energy levels) rarely allow for never-ending fun (of any kind).

So before we stress out about barely attainable goals and orgasms lasting longer than an MTV Real World marathon, we thought we'd bring some balance into the equation by drawing attention to a recent US study which aims "to dispel unrealistic beliefs among couples that good sex should go on for a long time."

The survey, which was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, found that a modest 13 minutes was considered the most "desirable" amount of time for penetrative sex to last by those interviewed. Intercourse lasting between 3 and 7 minutes was considered "adequate,” less than three minutes was "too short," but over 13 minutes was "too long."

So, while it might be fun to give tantra a whirl, if both partners have the time, energy and inclination, the thrill, timeliness and therapeutic benefits of a 3-minute quickie should not be underestimated. All good things do come to an end, quality can be more important than quantity, and a highly "desirable" 13 minutes should not be underappreciated by those who may just have unrealistic (KY-sponsored) expectations.

Further Reading:
The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by Margot Anand