With Sex And The City's Carrie Bradshaw taking to the New York streets again in her skyscraper high Manolo Blahnik shoes, it's time to learn an essential equation which could turn stiletto wearing into a science as well as an art.
The equation was formulated after a SITC-loving publicist, working at London's Institute of Physics, pondered the physical limitations of Bradshaw's stiletto shoed feet (or should that be feat?).
"I sat there thinking: How can she wear heels that height? There must be some kind of formula that says you can only go so high before you fall over," Dianne Stilwell recalls.
A colleague, Professor Paul Stevenson, of the University of Surrey, came to her aid, formulating an equation that would answer Stilwell's curiosity. (It should be noted, that when he's not pondering the physics of stilettos, Professor Stevenson turns his mind to more traditional scientific pursuits, such as researching nuclear structure theory.)
The equation he came up with to explain the secret of stilettos was:
H=Q x (12+3S/8).
In this equation H represents the height of heel, S represents the length of the shoe in terms of UK shoe sizes (a limitation given that Carrie may not know this), with Q representing a variety of sociological factors.
The key to this equation, is the value of Q, which takes into account the probability that wearing the shoes will turn heads (P), the number of years experience you have wearing high heels (Y), the cost of the shoes in British pounds (L), the time in months since the shoe was the height of fashion (T), and the units of alcohol consumed (A), and is defined by the following sub-equation: Q=[P •(Y+9)•L]/[(T+1) •(A+1)•(Y+10) •(L+£20)].
It should be noted that the equation only applies to stilettos, since shoes with wider heels are much sturdier. Professor Stevenson also feels that before publishing his work in a scientific journal of record he should find a way to express within the equation the curve of increased pain that higher heels induce.
If you’d like to give Professor Stevenson's formula a whirl before purchasing your next pair of shoes, click HERE for an international shoe size conversion chart and HERE for a currency converter. However, those who are more spiritual than scientific may want to achieve balance in their stilettos by tweaking their root chakra. If that’s your chosen stiletto-heeled footpath, click HERE.