Entertainment: May 2008 Archives

Does Indiana Jones, who's back in action this bank holiday weekend in the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, know he's risking life and limb for a bunch of fake artifacts? Experts analyzed two skulls held by the British Museum and the Smithsonian that were once thought to be pre-Columbian Mesoamerican relics, and concluded that they are modern fakes. The findings are published in the May 2008 edition of the Journal of Archaeological Science.

British and American researchers used modern techniques to uncover the quartz crystal skulls' secrets. Using electron microscopes and X-ray scanning methods, the teams found that modern industrial techniques had been used to fashion the stone. The British Museum skull was manufactured using rotary tools and an abrasive substance such as crystallized aluminum oxide or diamond particles, while the Smithsonian skull has been fashioned with a silicon carbide abrasive.

The British Museum skull first surfaced in 1881 in a Parisian antiques shop. It was bought at auction by Tiffany & Co, who then sold in on to the museum, at a profit, in 1897. The Smithsonian skull was donated anonymously in 1992. It was left with a note that said it had been purchased in Mexico in the 1960's.

"There are about a dozen or more of these crystal skulls. Except for the British Museum skull and one in Paris, they seem to have entered public awareness since the 60s, with the interest in quartz and the New Age movement," said Cardiff University Professor and study researcher Ian Freestone, speaking to the BBC. "It does appear that people have been making them since then. Some of them are quite good, but some of them look like they were produced with a Black & Decker in someone's garage."

Suspecting their skull was a fake, the Smithsonian first carried out research on their relic in 1992. Meanwhile the British Museum list their skull as being "probably European, 19th century AD" and "not an authentic pre-Columbian artifact".

A simple search on the internet could have saved Indiana Jones the bother of coming out of retirement. Rather than chasing half-way around the world after these forged antiquities, leaving a path of destruction in his wake, it would have been far more efficient it he'd bought a lump of quartz and a power tool from Home Depot to satisfy his quest for a crystal skull.

America's new idol felt Guru Pitka's positive vibes big time this evening (click HERE to view video).

Congratulations to David Cook (the hot rocker had our vote!).

As the good guru says, "remember, winning isn't everything in life, unless you're one of the last two finalists on American Idol."

Mariska Hargitay!

Love Guru Mike Myers (a.k.a. Guru Pitka) explains to talk show host Ellen DeGeneres why Mariska Hargitay is the new Namasté (click HERE to view video).

Mariska Hargitay is the daughter of 1950's sex symbol Jayne Mansfield and the Hungarian-born former Mr. Universe Mickey Hargitay. She plays Detective Olivia Benson in the Law & Order spin-off TV series Special Victims Unit. Mariska is a Hungarian name meaning "sea of bitterness." Hargitay is also Hungarian, and means "of Hargita," a county in central Romania.

Namasté is a respectful greeting commonly used in India, Asia, and by people in yoga pants everywhere. It is a conjunct of two Sanskrit words: "namas" meaning "to bow" and "te" meaning "to you."

From a spiritual point of view, "Namasté: is taken to mean "I am your humble servant." Since Mariska Hargitay has overcome much adversity, including the grisly death of her mother to become a tough New York TV cop handling heinous crimes with poise and grace, perhaps the spiritual meaning of the guru greeting "Mariska Hargitay" should be "strength through adversity."

"Mariska Hargitay"

The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that Hindu groups in India are seeking to ban Mike Myers' new film, The Love Guru. In it, the shagadelic Austin Powers actor portrays a character called Guru Pitka, who is dubbed the "second best guru in India." Unfortunately not everyone is seeing the funny side of Myer's self-help industry satire, and pressure is apparently being put on India's Central Board of Film Certification and the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting to ban screenings of the film in the country.

Bhavna Shinde, a representative of the Mumbai-based Hindu organization Janjagruti Samiti, is quoted as saying that Indian censors should, "stop distributing or screening the movie till Paramount has made necessary changes ... so that it will not hurt the feelings of the worldwide spiritual and Hindu community." American-based religious leader, Rajan Zed, president of the Universal Society of Hinduism, has accused the film of "lampooning Hinduism."

Myer's Love Guru co-stars include Justin Timberlake, Jessica Alba, Daily Show funny man John Oliver (as Dick Pants), and Gandhi star Ben Kingsley (as Guru Tugginmypudha). Real life uber guru Deepak Chopra also has a cameo role, and is featured in the film's publicity campaign. Guru groupies can log on to FavoriteGuru.com to vote for the man they'd most like to follow. So far Myer's alter ego Guru Pitka is leading with 62% of the vote, compared to Chopra's 38%, making it more decisive than a Democratic primary (if you ignore West Virgina like the superdelegates are).

Before Myer's started filming The Love Guru, he spent some quality time with Chopra to get the right vibe. In 2006 the double act appeared on The Sundance Channel's series Iconoclasts, and spent the day together in preparation for a symposium on comedy and spirituality that evening.

Chopra explained the need for laughter in spirituality, saying that, "When your soul responds to the paradox of our existence, to the contradictions of our existence, to the fact that wherever there is joy there is suffering, when your soul recognizes this, it can do nothing except laugh."

Myers closed the show, by saying, "Everything that I've read suggests that enlightenment is lightening up." After recent events, he may want to revise that statement.