Landfills were made for these three choice gift ideas (well someone's got to keep them in business).
Courtesy of The Unemployed Philosophers' Guild, these make the perfect Christmas gift for f#%k-ups everywhere. Why settle for a few minutes in a psychiatrist's couch when you can spend the rest of your life walking in Sigmund Freud's shoes for a fraction of the price!
Customer review: "It's easier to put on slippers than carpet the world."
This exercise apparel will give the man in your life a unique sense of freedom while swimming or doing yoga. Made from 100% lime-green spandex, that'll be around on this earth long after he's gone (no matter how much yoga he does), these official Borat mankini thongs make a big statement, and come in an easy-to-buy 'one size fits all.'
Customer review: "Excellent fit and it sure is eye-catching. I wore this while teaching a lifeguard pool safety course at the park district and had a blast. Be careful with tan lines on this one."
Big Ox Canned Oxygen ($9.99 for a 3.5 gram can)
Help a friend stockpile some of the world's natural resources, while wasting yet more, with Big Ox's canned oxygen. It comes in flavors such a Citrus Blast, Mountain Mint, Polar Rush, and Tropical Breeze, so you can smell the great outdoors without bothering to get out in it.
Customer review: "Hey I tried this stuff from a convention in St.Louis and was skeptic... Was I wrong! It actually works, I can't explain it. It doesn't seem that oxygen in a can would be much better than what we breathe, but I could breathe unbelievable in my race and my recovery time was much quicker.
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